What I’m Into Lately

  1. Study Vlogs. I just love looking at laptops, tablets, books, notebooks, and the ambience especially if they are in the library. My love for books has really resurfaced.
  2. Books. Again. I really like reading novels but I am careful in what I read because I can really get affected by the books that I read. In movies, you can just cry if the story is sad but with books, it’s much deeper. It takes a while for me to shake it off. Most of the time, it sticks to be for so long. I would forget about it but when I remember about it, the effect is still there.
  3. Learning. Specifically, how to study. Everyone has their own way of learning. You just have to find out the most effective way for you.
  4. Preaching podcasts from Every Nation.
  5. The American Gospel on Netflix. I highly recommend this. It tackles about the true gospel. It points to Jesus. Before I used to listen to the prosperity gospel. I didn’t even realise it. But somehow, something is still missing. I find myself back to listening to some preaching that really points to Jesus. About sufferings and trials. About God’s plan for us including the afterlife.


This is the state of my heart.  This is from the lyrics of Thristy Merc’s Someday:

Just wait and see

You gotta hear what I say
I’m in love with you
I’m not so far away

Someday, someday
I will be here babe
Someday, someday
I will be the one babe

Someday, someday 
I’ll know that you love me 
Don’t have to try 
Love will take us there babe 

I know that you’re always what I want babe 
I will be the one babe 

Which takes me to this post from tumblr about waiting and patience 🙂

The wait is what kills me. But when it happens to you it will be worth it. It will be worth the long nights, the sadness, the aching questioning, the tired searching…Just hold fast to God. You’re not alone. Many are in the struggle with you. So my advice is –Forget about it. Drink, eat, take all the joy you can possibly take in, and relax in peace. When Jesus turned water into wine at the wedding party we don’t imagine Him holding a wine glass with a smile on His lips – But that was His first miracle! Life is meant to be enjoyed, celebrated, inhaled. The man(or woman) will come, but for now sit with Jesus at the party, drinking in the pleasures of life” (godlydatingandfeeling)

This reminds me of the time I applied to migrate to this country.  I was at the point of total surrender and trust.  Whether I got it or not was alright with me because I have the peace and joy of God in my life.

I want the peace and joy from God to come back in my life.

Note: This was written around 2015. I was feeling impatient and heartbroken with the waiting. Looking back now, I did have some regrets. Wasted energy and time. Trying to please the wrong person. I guess what I can do now is learn from my mistakes. Pick up my abandoned dreams, explore them, work my way around them and finally make them a reality.

New discovery

I’ve been hearing how good the Mamonde brand is but it is only a couple of days ago that I tried it. The ceramide cream is really nice on the face. It makes my face smooth, soft and helps with my blemishes. It is also a light cream. I’m definitely going to repurchase this cream.


This was written after taking a driving lesson. A couple helped me and went with me to Coonabarabran. I wonder how they are doing now. I want to go visit Baradine again. I want to show my husband that part of Australia. Pleasantville.

I drove from Baradine to Coonabarabran and back  last Sunday to have my driving lesson. Around 100km in a day.  Challenges included the dead kangaroo in the middle of the road, and that momentary panic of seeing a 4×4 overtaking a trailer at 120km/hr driving in my lane.  Good thing a couple was with me and they told me not to panic because there was still plenty of time for it to overtake the trailer.  It’s all angle parking, parallel parking, kerb side parking, right and left turn, three point turn in my head right now.  Pip (the car) and I need to serve the Lord in whatever way we can. 🙂


I am thankful for the Lord for:
1. Giving me Himself
2. Family
3. Job that keeps me fed
4. Friends who keep in touch
5. People who reach out for me
6. People whom I can’t help but love
7. People who keeps on loving me
8. People I have fun with

I am now 31. I don’t know

So this was a write up when I turned 31. The year was 2013. It was an interesting year. My life revolved around my internship, adjusting to a new country, and friends whom I considered my family.

Moving to a new country, away from my family, I finally understand how my other friends felt. Why they never left their unconventional relationships.

My life then was just in that box. I am trying to understand life inside that box. I forgot that there was life outside that box.

God knew how to take me out of that box, in my own little world. It was difficult. Change is always painful. But I was able to go through it.

With the lessons from that year, I had to look deeper within me. I had to find the strength, the voice that I so wanted to hear. I had to learn how to encourage myself–to believe in myself. Tying loose ends. Realising old and new dreams. Learning how to love myself more. Finally liking who I am.

Caterpillar and Flower

This is another old draft:

“But I love you…” said the caterpillar to the flower.
“Is that why you came into my life and ruin it?”, the flower retorted.
“No, I couldn’t help but come near you. Sorry if I ate your leaves. It’s my nature. I am born this way…” said the caterpillar.
“You ate my leaves and that destroys me little by little. Is this what you call love?,” she was crying feeling so alone and confused and betrayed.
“I’m sorry if this is not love for you,”the caterpillar was trying to be dramatic to convince the flower.

I don’t know why I wrote this in the past. But looking back now, it would have been connected to my relationship back then. I was struggling to move on from a relationship before. It took me 10 years to let go.

The point of this post is, sometimes we think that someone loves us. They would tell us that they love us. But that’s what they thought. The truth is, sometimes it’s not really love. Sometimes, it is just convenience or lack of confidence, or loneliness.

If staying in a relationship is destroying you in any way–your mind, body, soul, spirit then maybe it’s not love.



I just want to pick up on this article and share it with you. I started writing this post in 2014. In hindsight, it has been a tough year. But boy, I was really able to feel God’s love and power in my life.

Here it goes:

Sometimes it’s easier to wallow in our own world, choosing the challenges we want to deal with– the heartaches and pain.  But life is not like that–sometimes, we just have to face what we have to face.  Suck it up and deal with it.  And never ever give up.

The good news here is that with Christ, we are already victorious.  We just have to stand still and let God fight the battle for us. 🙂

The photo was also taken in 2014. I have just discovered Spotify. The music I’ve listened then I still like today. Everything was inspirational. Until now, whenever I would think about 2014, I always feel inspired.

My motto then was “Despite difficulties, keep going!”



I decided to try a different phone. From android to iOs. I miss android. I’ve always used an android phone. But I’ve always wanted to try an iphone. So here I am, finally using an iphone.

For some people it might just be nothing, but for me, this is something deeper for me. I have always wondered. So here I am.

Taking steps towards some of my abandoned dreams.


It took me a while to come to this point. To accept that people come and go. Some people are just meant to be there at just some certain season in your life.

Lately, a handful of people has come and gone in my life. I feel sad for a long time. I tried to hold on. Fight for it.

A few days ago, an old friend of mine called me to sort of catch up. He made me think about the past of how it was like. Truth is, I like that season of my life when I was single and available to all my friends. I was almost everyone’s wing-woman–sidekick. I like spending time with my friends. It compensated for the fact that I was away from my family.

I’ve been hurt. I’ve been disappointed and betrayed.

But there are a few who still remained in my life for which I am grateful for. I feel blessed because God has shown me who are my true friends.

It’s been rough but the dust has settled and now I can pick up the remaining pieces. My self is still intact. I am still me. Better than before. My faith is still there and I can still feel God’s love in my life. Thank God for my husband.

Thank You Lord for keeping Your promise.

A Different Reality

A few years ago, I cam across the book A Kite Runner and it was about a young man’s story of his early life and how he and his father migrated to America to escape the political change that was happening in their country.

A few days ago, I saw an ad about a charity organization asking for help to give to the Syrian community.

I thought about the Syrians, how their lives changed. From prosperous lives to people living in tents, scared of the bomb attacks. Nothing left. They’d be lucky if their family are still together and complete.

Then I think about the current pandemic. How is this going to pan out? How are we going to survive this? Are we going to survive this? Are our families still be complete? What is going to happen after? The economy? Our way of living? Are we going to learn what we need to learn? Will humans finally grow hearts? Will they develop compassion towards others? Will they stop being selfish?

I pray that God will have compassion over us. No more lives lost due to Covid-19. May everyone be kept safe and healthy. Lord God, have mercy on us. Protect us, keep us healthy and safe. Provide for our needs. These I ask in Jesus’ mighty name. Amen.