Don’t Give Up

A reminder to myself. Again.

The start of this year has been hectic. I have to do a lot of things. I feel a little lost. I am beginning to forget why I do the things I do or why I planned several goals. I’ve been looking and focusing on trivial stuff. Maybe it’s a defense mechanism. I feel like things are very much out of my control. There were so many times when I just wanted to give up. But I can’t. Because most of the time, giving up is harder than continuing on. And I wanted to finish something this time. Giving up in this part of my life has become a habit already. It has to end now. It takes time to attain something worthy. No matter how hard things become with this, I should not give up. Matatapos ko rin ito. Makakatapos din ako. I thank the Lord for His grace.

So Jas, when things are tough, just hold on. Keep on going. Learn from your mistakes and try again. Never give up. It’s not bad to ask for help. Be humble. But believe in yourself.

Hope

Spring brings hope to my heart no matter what the challenges are.  Even if others say otherwise, I still go on.  Patient endurance.

I was led to the Book of Revelations on my reading this morning and I felt at peace.

“This calls for patient endurance on the part of the saints who obey God’s commandments and remain faithful to Jesus.”  Revelation 14:12

No one but God can stop me from doing everything I can to fulfill my God-given destiny.  I am living up to my potential.  My potential will be an actual from now on.  Thank You Lord.

May the Spirit of the Lord come back to me.  This time in battle gear.  For I will not let anyone ever steal my dreams again.  This is the time to work and fulfill those dreams.  Ephesians 6 will be my guide:

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood,but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. 19 Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

Generous

My recent thoughts:

I only have $6.75 on my account.  Come to think of it, it’s scary.  But this is an opportunity to trust God even more.  I only have that amount but I still have food.  I may not have much for my taxi money but I can walk.  While walking, I noticed how I have been filling up because of the stress I’m in these past few weeks but I like the shape of my butt and how I have them–finally!  🙂  I don’t have a car but I have great shoes to walk with.  I have the ability to walk along the clean streets of this suburb.  God is so good to me.  God is so great.

Today I walked the street again at past 5pm, the sun has already set.  Quarter moon was even covered by the clouds, I walked and saw some people who chose to walk as well.  I like the feeling–me with God, worship songs, one or two people on the street–I felt at peace.

Last night I’ve battled with myself.  I woke up crying and feeling empty.  I asked myself what do I really want and while looking at the morning sky, though covered with clouds, indication of potential rain, I found my answer–I don’t mind being anywhere as long as I have God by my side.

I don’t want gifts if it would only lead to my destruction.  I don’t want to open it when I am not ready.  I am happy with just me and God.  I am happy with just a few for now as long as I am being obedient with God.

I tried to seek God in the words of others but the Bible is still the greatest source of His Word.

I am grateful for the generosity of the people around me.

Life is not that easy but I am thankful that God put me in a beautiful place like this.  I don’t know what’s going to happen to me next, all I know is God is in charge.

Faith and grace.  I’ve been learning those ever since I got here.

Love.  I am reminded again of 1 Cor 13 because I have thought about speaking in tongues and how it’s not an assurance that we prophesy or speak in tongues but if we do not really love God, then in the end we won’t still be saved.  I asked God before if He could give me the gift of tongues so I have an assurance that the Holy Spirit is really in me.  But what God is teaching me now is even better–and it is how to love.

1 I may be able to speak the languages of human beings and even of angels, but if I have no love, my speech is no more than a noisy gong or a clanging bell.² I may have the gift of inspired preaching; I may have all knowledge and understand all secrets; I may have all the faith needed to move mountains—but if I have no love, I am nothing. ³ I may give away everything I have, and even give up my body to be burned^[a]—but if I have no love, this does me no good.

⁸ Love is eternal. There are inspired messages, but they are temporary; there are gifts of speaking in strange tongues, but they will cease; there is knowledge, but it will pass. ⁹ For our gifts of knowledge and of inspired messages are only partial; ¹⁰ but when what is perfect comes, then what is partial will disappear.

¹¹ When I was a child, my speech, feelings, and thinking were all those of a child; now that I am an adult, I have no more use for childish ways. ¹² What we see now is like a dim image in a mirror; then we shall see face-to-face. What I know now is only partial; then it will be complete—as complete as God’s knowledge of me.

¹³ Meanwhile these three remain: faith, hope, and love; and the greatest of these is love. (1 Cor 13 GNT)

All along, God has been teaching His greatest fruit–love.  I pray that God will give me the grace to love those He wanted me to love, in the way He wanted me to love them.  May I not stray from His will.

May God also bless the works of my hand.  May He also give me the knowledge to do what I must do.  People may not think highly of me–that I can feel.  But God uses the weak to shame the strong.  May God manifests His glory through me.  In Jesus’ mighty name.  Amen.

Last but not the least, it feels good to actually like the reflection I see when I look at myself in the mirror.  God has created us and He created us beautifully. 🙂

The Broken Circle Breakdown

Can love conquer all?

I watched this movie last night because the synopsis said something about a love story.  I didn’t know that it was intense and deep.  At the end of the movie, there was sadness.  I could not shake off the feeling.  I went to church this morning but I still carried this.  So why was I affected so much by this movie?

People are imperfect creature.  Elise and Didier are both imperfect yet love found them and shared it and experienced it.  They fully embraced it.  It takes unselfishness to fully love someone.  We have to open ourselves to someone hoping not to be hurt and rejected.  When I say this, I think about my heart and how I am willing to love someone fully.  I know someone loves me and I love him but God said it’s wrong to be with him.  The relationship is not pleasing to him.  Fighting for him will always end up with us being separated.  Unless God blesses it, it cannot be.  There is someone He is showing me and I am willing to embrace that, too.  But God is not yet speaking to me.  Somehow I am still in the season of waiting.  But this someone He puts in my heart, loving him hurts so much I don’t want it.  It is selfish.  But I don’t know how to love him.  God how do You want me to love the people in my life?  Please teach me and give me the courage to do so.  In Jesus’ name.  Amen.

Marriage is life.  Life is a mixture of good and bad.  So is marriage.  Here I am wanting to get married when I would be yoked with someone else–yoked for life.  Why do I want it again?  I look at them and I can see what I might have to go through.  It’s not going to be easy I know.  But I hope whoever God yokes me with, it’s going to be worth it.  Marriage is sticking together in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer.  Marriage is accepting your “co-yokee” for who they are.

Love should conquer all.  This broke my heart.  Because Elise could not conquer it she had given up.  Would I have done the same thing if faced with a similar situation?  But all through out the movie, I was thinking how they should have dealt with the situation.  If only God is at the center of their marriage.  The circle would never be broken.  The good thing is even though it ended badly for them, Didier stayed strong by playing music finally believing that there must have been an after life.

Magical

If I have only known what I have to go through, I wouldn’t go.  But oddly, it’s been so magical!  I feel loved.  I love.  I have been taken care of–by God’s army of angels.  God You are good all the time.  Thank You for Your love.  It’s been a great year.  I’m looking forward to more greatness from the Lord.  In everything, to God be the glory!!! 🙂

Love Anyway

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12 NIV

We can be stressed sometimes.  Out of stress I wanted to unload the burden on other people.  In my head I would shout at them for delaying what I need to accomplish for the day.  But then I would be reminded of the Gospel.  Of what Jesus did for me.  Who am I to be impatient when God has been so patient and kind and gentle to me?  I have been forgiven much so I should love much.

I’m continuing to love.  No matter how much we hurt by the things that we can’t have and by other people, we continue to love by being compassionate, kind, humble, gentle, and patient.

I continue to love because at the end of it all, I know God will be my reward.  In the end everything will be alright.  In the end I get to be with God forever.

Connect

I attended my first official connect group.  I feel so happy.  Like I can see clearly again.  Thank You Lord for making this happen.

My takehome:

1.  Pharisees, saducees, sanhendrins were created because they want the favor of God to go back to Israel.  For years, during the times when there’s Judah and Israel, the prophets warned them that God would abolish the kingdom if the people would continue to disobey God until such time when God has abolished the kingdom.  So to have the favor of God, to have the kingdom again, group of Israelites wanted to make sure that they would now follow the commands of God so God would favor them once more so that the kingdom will be built once more.  The Roman empire ruled Israel that time.

2.  People were expectant that God would bring the Messiah–the One who will save them just like David and all the other kings before.

3.  Pharisees and others were expecting a different Messiah because they were expecting that Jesus if He were the Messiah would recruit them instead because they are supposed to be closer to God because they follow God’s commands.

4.  As saved by Christ, we should reach out to others and show the love of God through our actions and love towards them.

5.  Share Jesus with others.  Go and make disciples. 🙂

6.  In connect groups the focus is taken out of ourselves we focus instead to Jesus. 🙂

7.  Because we are grateful for the love of God, we share it to others 🙂

Giving

And then he cried in front of me.

Giving.  He is so giving of himself that he can open up to me.  That is why I can open up to him, too.  That is why I am giving of myself with him.  In other words, I call this friendship.

But how can I be giving to people who attack me?  It’s human nature to build walls.  So it would not hurt as much.  God said to pray for those who persecute us.  God said to forgive those who wronged us.  As Christians, we are called to do these.  But I know, this is only possible with the help of God.  By His grace, we can be forgiving and giving of ourselves to everyone.  By our example, we will be the salt of the earth.  Our kindness and goodness will show that we are really from God.  Again, it’s only possible if we have God in our lives.

Love.  That is the source.  God is love.  We can be giving if we love one another.  Love comes from God.

God puts me here surrounded by all these beautiful people.  May God be able to use me to reach out to them.  May I successfully plant the seeds of faith.  Because having faith in God is the best thing that we can share with everyone.

Two Status

Thinking about my lovelife or the lack thereof, I opened my FB homepage. I saw status from 2 ladies. The first one was about how she was leisurely walking and looking up then she saw some artworks. Enjoying it, she took pictures and posted on FB. She’s obviously very happy. And I know why.

The next status was just pictures of people with this lady. This lady is charming, attractive to boys. In the picture, she was drinking with friends. This lady was in a relationship but she was still married. So she could not marry her bf yet.

A question entered my mind. Which of these example would I choose to follow?

The first one followed and surrendered her lovelife to God. There were struggles but she let God take hold of her heart. The result is a beautiful, better than ever love life. I learned that surrender and obedience to God yield the best result. She had to wait but it was worth it.

The second one followed herself. What she wants. She has drawn her security from the affection and attention of the opposite sex. She didn’t really want what happened to her. She was just a victim of circumstances. She’s in love but she could not just marry him.

The obvious choice would be the first one. Surrendering and obeying God with our lovelife require grace from God to endure the wait. To stand God’s refining fire. God will always be there ready to help us when we ask Him to and even if we don’t ask Him. He’s there ready to protect and guard our hearts and to burn all the impurities of our lives. We can rest in the truth that God will give us what is best for us and when it is from God, there will be peace. 🙂

Nasi

There’s Noodle Bento on West and they serve very nice Malaysian food. They don’t have Hainanese Chicken though. Oh well, I went there yesterday and bought this.

I think this is called Seafood Nasi. They give a big serving. I ate this for yesterday’s lunch and today’s breakfast. 🙂

It should be my goal to try to eat everything on their menu during my whole stay here in this side of NSW.

God has been good to me. Bits and pieces of niceness from people I don’t expect to be kind to me make me think of God’s work in my life. Thank You God.

Convictions and rebuke are God’s discipline. Because He loves me. Like a father disciplining his daughter simply because he loves her.

I am no wiser than I think I am. I just have to obey God. Godly counsel from other people helps. Thank You Lord.