Life is a bit busy right now with my driving lessons and thunderstorms in the afternoon.  I could not really do my walking.  And I feel that it’s not enough.  I used to have 10,000 steps in a day.  Now I only average 2,000 in a day.  Moreover, it’s already autumn and soon it’s gonna be really cold.  As a substitute for walking, I have thought about yoga.  It’s perfect because I can stay at home and I still can have my exercise. 🙂  I plan to follow the ones on this website.  Hopefully, I will be able to stick with this or think of a better idea.

We need to help ourselves to be the best that we can be. 🙂

Security Food

I feel lost whenever I don’t know what carbohydrate to eat.  This makes me lose my focus.  Yes, I am overeating.  It is not good but I’ve done it.  And so I cooked my rice.  So I’m good for today and for tomorrow lunch.  I also bought a bread so I’m good for breakfast.  I realized, once I have my carbohydrates, then everything is set.  I’m not worried with my food at all.  But if there’s no carbohydrate, I get worried that I wouldn’t be satisfied thus causing me to overeat.  Eating carbohydrates doesn’t make me feel deprived.  I don’t really care about which protein to eat because any protein I buy can satisfy me.  So I can say that once I have my carbohydrates, I feel secure and that I can go on with my health endeavours.

Moreover, I’ve realized other things about food:

  • I realized that as much as I like to eat pancakes every now and then, it takes me a long time to cook one and I don’t like it when it’s deformed.  I’d rather eat a loaf bread with nutella or friend egg. 🙂
  • I also found out that sweet potato cannot be cooked on microwave. Potato could be cooked but not sweet potato.  So if I want sweet potato, I should boil it or maybe stir fry it but I haven’t done it yet so I would stick with boiling.
  • Unless I have half an hour, it’s best to cook sausage by dividing it in half.  This way the inside can be thoroughly cooked.
  • Big chicken is better cooked in pieces.  That means, cutting it in pieces, taking the bones out.  Big-boned chickens are yucky.
  • Most dishes become better with sauteed garlic and onions.


I was about to go walking after work.  But it rained hard.  This town really needed rain so I should not complain even if I got soaked so I had to change clothes immediately.  Anyway, I got inspired watching the Biggest Loser on tv.  I’m still continuing on with my calorie restriction and trying to eat healthier.  I am just finishing on my last cup of jasmine rice.  I bought potato, sweet potato, fruit juices, and bananas.  They were the cheaper ones at the grocery.

I also saw the football field in this town and I thought about running.  But of course knowing my body, I have to load up on multivitamins and calcium.  I’ll give it a few weeks, even if it’s already autumn.  I will still go running once I get more confident with my calcium intake.  For now, I will stick to walking and who knows, maybe next week I might do tennis. 🙂

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This is the place I am staying here.  Inside I don’t feel like I am in a rural area.  It feels like living in a city.  I thank God for this opportunity.  This is really a different season in my life.  I pray that I will make the best of this season in my life. 🙂


Spring brings hope to my heart no matter what the challenges are.  Even if others say otherwise, I still go on.  Patient endurance.

I was led to the Book of Revelations on my reading this morning and I felt at peace.

“This calls for patient endurance on the part of the saints who obey God’s commandments and remain faithful to Jesus.”  Revelation 14:12

No one but God can stop me from doing everything I can to fulfill my God-given destiny.  I am living up to my potential.  My potential will be an actual from now on.  Thank You Lord.

May the Spirit of the Lord come back to me.  This time in battle gear.  For I will not let anyone ever steal my dreams again.  This is the time to work and fulfill those dreams.  Ephesians 6 will be my guide:

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood,but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. 19 Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

Singleness is a blessing

I want to acknowledge this, right at this moment.  There is nothing wrong with being single.  It is not a disease.  It is not because one is ugly or undesirable.  One can be blessed whether she’s single or married.  So if I am meant for singleness, I can fully embrace this without feeling that I am missing out on life.

My point in writing this is to acknowledge that there is nothing to be afraid of if I am to remain single.

There are so many benefits to being single that married people don’t have.  But I know that there are many benefits to be married that singleness cannot offer.  And I think what needs to be done here is to accept the limitations of whatever status you are in.  That way you won’t envy or long for what you are not allowed to have.

Sex is one of the things that single people cannot have.  Anything to do with sex.  Single people to be fully blessed should not even try to have it because sex is a gift from God only for married people.  To tamper with it when you’re not meant to have it can destroy you.  It can make you feel down and long for someone.  Married people needs it–God made it that way–for reproduction, a glue like a special bond for married couple.  The earlier you accept this, the easier it will be.  That is part of the deal.

Whether I remain single or get married, I know I will be okay.  🙂

God Makes a Way

The power of God is at work.  He wouldn’t have gone to work but God made a way for him to come.  Things will happen if God wills it to happen.  Thank You Lord for You are with me.  I know that You make me able to do Your will here on earth.  Empower me Lord God.  Bless the works of my hand.  May I help in advancing Your kingdom.  In everything I do, may You always be glorified now and forever!

How can I smile in the middle of challenges?  It’s You God.  How can I find the heart to forgive?  It’s You God.  How can I love some more? It’s You God.

Thank You Lord.  Whatever happens, may I always feel and be aware of Your presence in my life Lord God.

I want to praise You all the days of my life. 🙂




My recent thoughts:

I only have $6.75 on my account.  Come to think of it, it’s scary.  But this is an opportunity to trust God even more.  I only have that amount but I still have food.  I may not have much for my taxi money but I can walk.  While walking, I noticed how I have been filling up because of the stress I’m in these past few weeks but I like the shape of my butt and how I have them–finally!  🙂  I don’t have a car but I have great shoes to walk with.  I have the ability to walk along the clean streets of this suburb.  God is so good to me.  God is so great.

Today I walked the street again at past 5pm, the sun has already set.  Quarter moon was even covered by the clouds, I walked and saw some people who chose to walk as well.  I like the feeling–me with God, worship songs, one or two people on the street–I felt at peace.

Last night I’ve battled with myself.  I woke up crying and feeling empty.  I asked myself what do I really want and while looking at the morning sky, though covered with clouds, indication of potential rain, I found my answer–I don’t mind being anywhere as long as I have God by my side.

I don’t want gifts if it would only lead to my destruction.  I don’t want to open it when I am not ready.  I am happy with just me and God.  I am happy with just a few for now as long as I am being obedient with God.

I tried to seek God in the words of others but the Bible is still the greatest source of His Word.

I am grateful for the generosity of the people around me.

Life is not that easy but I am thankful that God put me in a beautiful place like this.  I don’t know what’s going to happen to me next, all I know is God is in charge.

Faith and grace.  I’ve been learning those ever since I got here.

Love.  I am reminded again of 1 Cor 13 because I have thought about speaking in tongues and how it’s not an assurance that we prophesy or speak in tongues but if we do not really love God, then in the end we won’t still be saved.  I asked God before if He could give me the gift of tongues so I have an assurance that the Holy Spirit is really in me.  But what God is teaching me now is even better–and it is how to love.

1 I may be able to speak the languages of human beings and even of angels, but if I have no love, my speech is no more than a noisy gong or a clanging bell.I may have the gift of inspired preaching; I may have all knowledge and understand all secrets; I may have all the faith needed to move mountains—but if I have no love, I am nothing. I may give away everything I have, and even give up my body to be burned[a]—but if I have no love, this does me no good.

Love is eternal. There are inspired messages, but they are temporary; there are gifts of speaking in strange tongues, but they will cease; there is knowledge, but it will pass. For our gifts of knowledge and of inspired messages are only partial; 10 but when what is perfect comes, then what is partial will disappear.

11 When I was a child, my speech, feelings, and thinking were all those of a child; now that I am an adult, I have no more use for childish ways. 12 What we see now is like a dim image in a mirror; then we shall see face-to-face. What I know now is only partial; then it will be complete—as complete as God’s knowledge of me.

13 Meanwhile these three remain: faith, hope, and love; and the greatest of these is love. (1 Cor 13 GNT)

All along, God has been teaching His greatest fruit–love.  I pray that God will give me the grace to love those He wanted me to love, in the way He wanted me to love them.  May I not stray from His will.

May God also bless the works of my hand.  May He also give me the knowledge to do what I must do.  People may not think highly of me–that I can feel.  But God uses the weak to shame the strong.  May God manifests His glory through me.  In Jesus’ mighty name.  Amen.

Last but not the least, it feels good to actually like the reflection I see when I look at myself in the mirror.  God has created us and He created us beautifully. 🙂

The Broken Circle Breakdown

Can love conquer all?

I watched this movie last night because the synopsis said something about a love story.  I didn’t know that it was intense and deep.  At the end of the movie, there was sadness.  I could not shake off the feeling.  I went to church this morning but I still carried this.  So why was I affected so much by this movie?

People are imperfect creature.  Elise and Didier are both imperfect yet love found them and shared it and experienced it.  They fully embraced it.  It takes unselfishness to fully love someone.  We have to open ourselves to someone hoping not to be hurt and rejected.  When I say this, I think about my heart and how I am willing to love someone fully.  I know someone loves me and I love him but God said it’s wrong to be with him.  The relationship is not pleasing to him.  Fighting for him will always end up with us being separated.  Unless God blesses it, it cannot be.  There is someone He is showing me and I am willing to embrace that, too.  But God is not yet speaking to me.  Somehow I am still in the season of waiting.  But this someone He puts in my heart, loving him hurts so much I don’t want it.  It is selfish.  But I don’t know how to love him.  God how do You want me to love the people in my life?  Please teach me and give me the courage to do so.  In Jesus’ name.  Amen.

Marriage is life.  Life is a mixture of good and bad.  So is marriage.  Here I am wanting to get married when I would be yoked with someone else–yoked for life.  Why do I want it again?  I look at them and I can see what I might have to go through.  It’s not going to be easy I know.  But I hope whoever God yokes me with, it’s going to be worth it.  Marriage is sticking together in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer.  Marriage is accepting your “co-yokee” for who they are.

Love should conquer all.  This broke my heart.  Because Elise could not conquer it she had given up.  Would I have done the same thing if faced with a similar situation?  But all through out the movie, I was thinking how they should have dealt with the situation.  If only God is at the center of their marriage.  The circle would never be broken.  The good thing is even though it ended badly for them, Didier stayed strong by playing music finally believing that there must have been an after life.


If I have only known what I have to go through, I wouldn’t go.  But oddly, it’s been so magical!  I feel loved.  I love.  I have been taken care of–by God’s army of angels.  God You are good all the time.  Thank You for Your love.  It’s been a great year.  I’m looking forward to more greatness from the Lord.  In everything, to God be the glory!!! 🙂

U Turn

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father[d] is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever. 1 John 2:15-17)

God’s will over my will.

That is the message that I have gotten.  I have observed that things become harder when I try to do things my way.  That it does not matter what happens to me here in this world.  Just as long as I obey God’s will.  Just as long as I am under His care then it will be alright.  I am reminded not to love the world.  This means I should not focus on what I want–on the blessing but rather focus on the Giver of the blessing.  God over everything.  God as the center.  Exercising care not to commit idolatry–by God’s grace.