First post for the year

Happy new year everyone! I am grateful for 2022. It was the year I was finally able to move to Melbourne to be closer to relatives. This is 10 years in the making. This year I am hoping to be more settled here.

The new year had me reminiscing. This made me realise that I have been blogging for almost 20 years now(since 2004). It started with blog drive then Blogspot then WordPress. I also had Multiply, where I met new friends and also LiveJournal. Well actually, I’ve been journalling virtually all my life. It started when I was in third grade but I became active when I was in 5th grade. From then on, I’ve been writing. It’s too bad I destroyed my old diaries. It would have been nice to read them now that I am older. One thing I got from journalling is I am able to gather my thoughts and analyse them and come up with realisations and solutions. In short, it was like therapy to me. I have also loved writing. When I was in high school, I did consider to be a writer. But I wasn’t talented enough so I gave up the idea.

One thing that resonated with me was when I was still writing in my Live Journal. There is a portion where you can share the title of the song you listen to. You can also choose some nice icons to post it with. At that time, I wanted to do so many things and I was frustrated that I couldn’t do yet any of them. I yearn for a better version of myself. I have these pictures in my head of who I wanted to be. I’ve been working to be that person. It’s more than 20 years but I still cannot fully say that I am there already. It is a constant thought in my head. This helped me to keep going and not settle for less.

2022 is my mid-life year. This is the year I turned 40. Of course, this caused me to reflect heavily on my life’s choices. I did consider so many things. The whole year is full of what ifs, could Is, should I have hads, and more yearning. I am grateful that God helps me along the way. So far, up to this point in my life, I have started to see the whys in my life. They all make sense. I could see God’s hand in these. He is really a good God and He is in control.

So what have I realised in my mid-life reflections? That I am where God wants me to be. I can thrive. I can live fully. I can choose to be happy. That I have always been joyful because of Jesus. I can choose to see God’s hand in my life. I can have peace of mind. And I can be kinder to myself.

This 2023, I hope to finally settle down. To live in my own house. To settle in the promised land. I have been living in “tents” for so long. This year, I also want to be like Joshua–that as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord and that we will dwell in the house of the Lord forever and that goodness and mercy will follow me where I go and where I am right now.