Browsing through social media has its disadvantages. Seeing updates from people got me envious because they have it easy. Like they don’t have to struggle so much with what they have because they were born rich, or their partners did a lot of the hard work to be where they are. They don’t have to think about or worry about what I worry about.
Gratefulness stops envy.
These are the things I realise:
Yes, I have to work hard for everything. I have to study hard, when my cousins are having a great time playing with each other, I was the only one with notes with them, sneaking to study. But I was able to finish and graduate from the top university in my country. I was also able to meet interesting and intelligent people. I wouldn’t have met them if I didn’t go to that school (if I’ve chosen the easy way).
When everyone is moving to greener pastures, I had to deal with bad people first before I was able to move to my “greener” pasture. But going through those adversities made me realize the power of God in my life. He truly made rivers in the desert. His power and glory were shown in those situations.
And when I finally got to my greener pasture, I had to move away from the people I know to move to a remote area while they enjoy the city life. But moving to the remote area paved the way for me to practice my profession.
While people my age have their own houses already, I still live in tents. Living in tents mean living in different places, ready to go wherever God takes me. Because of that, I was able to meet kind and generous people. I greatly relied on the kindness of strangers. It truly is God’s power manifesting.
While my friends would get together to travel or drink or do fun stuff, I couldn’t go because my salary is lower than theirs. But being in my job, I was able to serve the Filipino masses.
While everyone has their own savings, I don’t have any because I have to support my family. But I was able to do everything I can to help extend the life of my mother.
While everyone is having a child of their own, I couldn’t because (of my age) having a child means not being able to support my family. I couldn’t find the time to go see a specialist to look into IVF because I have to keep working. I asked God that if He’s gonna give me a child, I hope it is through natural means. I might feel a little worried but I know that if God would give me a child, I know that He will provide. A child is always a blessing. I would be honored, honestly, to have the chance to bring up someone. Who knows, maybe my child will have a great impact in the world in sharing Jesus and the gospel.
I may have had it hard, but I am still able to do what I want to do and able to go where I want to go. Moreover, there is one thing I do not have to struggle with–the love of my family. A great example set by my parents. How my father loved my mother and how both of them are great providers. We may not have a lot of money but they were still able to send us to the best schools. They also continue to help us set out into the world even after college. They may not be the wisest in the ways of the world, but I know that they have done their best for us, for which I am eternally grateful.