On Dating

Guard your heart. If you master this then you are good. However, this advice is one of the most difficult to follow. I hope that you do well on this.

I was single for almost 4 decades and through all those years, there are several lessons I have learned. Looking back, I wish someone wise had spoken to me these lessons, then I would have avoided all those unnecessary heartaches.

Love yourself. The very first lesson I have learned. Know your value. Know that you are enough. If a guy is forcing you to compromise or give what you are not ready to give, then leave that person. That guy is not worth it. The right person will wait for you.

Do not chase the guy. Try talking to him. Talk things though. But if a guy does not want to be with you anymore, let him go. If a guy really loves you, he will never leave you. Period.

Do not expect the other person to complete you. You have to be complete in yourself. If you are not happy now, you will still not be happy in a relationship.

Learn to let go. The best way to move on is to allow yourself to grieve when a relationship ends. That way, you can give your 100% in the next relationship.

You always have a choice. You don’t have to stay in a bad relationship. God is not punishing you. Don’t ask Him why He’s given you someone awful. Not every gift is from God. Know when it’s the will of God. He is not the one to blame for entering a bad relationship. You can always opt out. You go into a relationship to be happy and not to be miserable. You go into a relationship so life will be better and more colorful and not the other way around. It is not your destiny or fate. You can always leave. If you are not at peace with yourself because of that relationship. Leave that relationship. No matter how the other person hold on to you, you can always leave. Now it’s a different story when you already marry this person. This lesson is specifically when you are still dating and not yet married.

You don’t have to experience all kinds of love. Learn from the experiences of others. You don’t have to get your heart be broken numerous times. Other people would say that you should have a first love, great love or the one, you can just survive with just one kind of love. I’ve met people who have luckily only have to love once. What my point is, it’s possible.

Don’t compromise your value. Red flag is red flag. Don’t pretend that you are colorblind. Have your non-negotiables and stick to them.

If you can’t marry, then you can’t date. Dating should not be a game. Dating’s purpose is to find the one to marry. If you are not yet ready to get married then don’t date yet.

Always define the relationship. Ask for the true intention of anyone trying to get close to you. Tell the person what you are looking for. Your expectations. If a guy loves you, he will try to attain your expectations. He will pursue you and be true to his intentions.

If you really want to marry, go out there. Date. Get to know people. But of course, guard your heart.

Don’t miss the boat. Sometimes a person will come along who will make you think that he might really be the one. He will ask you to marry him. When that time comes, don’t miss the boat.

The most important lesson is to include God in all your decisions. Pray about it. Right from the start, in every step of the way, pray. Then you will know that your decision, whatever it is, will be the right one. If you do decide to marry that person, give your 100%.