31

I am thankful for the Lord for:
1. Giving me Himself
2. Family
3. Job that keeps me fed
4. Friends who keep in touch
5. People who reach out for me
6. People whom I can’t help but love
7. People who keeps on loving me
8. People I have fun with

I am now 31. I don’t know

So this was a write up when I turned 31. The year was 2013. It was an interesting year. My life revolved around my internship, adjusting to a new country, and friends whom I considered my family.

Moving to a new country, away from my family, I finally understand how my other friends felt. Why they never left their unconventional relationships.

My life then was just in that box. I am trying to understand life inside that box. I forgot that there was life outside that box.

God knew how to take me out of that box, in my own little world. It was difficult. Change is always painful. But I was able to go through it.

With the lessons from that year, I had to look deeper within me. I had to find the strength, the voice that I so wanted to hear. I had to learn how to encourage myself–to believe in myself. Tying loose ends. Realising old and new dreams. Learning how to love myself more. Finally liking who I am.

Caterpillar and Flower

This is another old draft:

“But I love you…” said the caterpillar to the flower.
“Is that why you came into my life and ruin it?”, the flower retorted.
“No, I couldn’t help but come near you. Sorry if I ate your leaves. It’s my nature. I am born this way…” said the caterpillar.
“You ate my leaves and that destroys me little by little. Is this what you call love?,” she was crying feeling so alone and confused and betrayed.
“I’m sorry if this is not love for you,”the caterpillar was trying to be dramatic to convince the flower.

I don’t know why I wrote this in the past. But looking back now, it would have been connected to my relationship back then. I was struggling to move on from a relationship before. It took me 10 years to let go.

The point of this post is, sometimes we think that someone loves us. They would tell us that they love us. But that’s what they thought. The truth is, sometimes it’s not really love. Sometimes, it is just convenience or lack of confidence, or loneliness.

If staying in a relationship is destroying you in any way–your mind, body, soul, spirit then maybe it’s not love.

Easy

playlist

I just want to pick up on this article and share it with you. I started writing this post in 2014. In hindsight, it has been a tough year. But boy, I was really able to feel God’s love and power in my life.

Here it goes:

Sometimes it’s easier to wallow in our own world, choosing the challenges we want to deal with– the heartaches and pain.  But life is not like that–sometimes, we just have to face what we have to face.  Suck it up and deal with it.  And never ever give up.

The good news here is that with Christ, we are already victorious.  We just have to stand still and let God fight the battle for us. 🙂

The photo was also taken in 2014. I have just discovered Spotify. The music I’ve listened then I still like today. Everything was inspirational. Until now, whenever I would think about 2014, I always feel inspired.

My motto then was “Despite difficulties, keep going!”