My recent thoughts:
I only have $6.75 on my account. Come to think of it, it’s scary. But this is an opportunity to trust God even more. I only have that amount but I still have food. I may not have much for my taxi money but I can walk. While walking, I noticed how I have been filling up because of the stress I’m in these past few weeks but I like the shape of my butt and how I have them–finally! 🙂 I don’t have a car but I have great shoes to walk with. I have the ability to walk along the clean streets of this suburb. God is so good to me. God is so great.
Today I walked the street again at past 5pm, the sun has already set. Quarter moon was even covered by the clouds, I walked and saw some people who chose to walk as well. I like the feeling–me with God, worship songs, one or two people on the street–I felt at peace.
Last night I’ve battled with myself. I woke up crying and feeling empty. I asked myself what do I really want and while looking at the morning sky, though covered with clouds, indication of potential rain, I found my answer–I don’t mind being anywhere as long as I have God by my side.
I don’t want gifts if it would only lead to my destruction. I don’t want to open it when I am not ready. I am happy with just me and God. I am happy with just a few for now as long as I am being obedient with God.
I tried to seek God in the words of others but the Bible is still the greatest source of His Word.
I am grateful for the generosity of the people around me.
Life is not that easy but I am thankful that God put me in a beautiful place like this. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me next, all I know is God is in charge.
Faith and grace. I’ve been learning those ever since I got here.
Love. I am reminded again of 1 Cor 13 because I have thought about speaking in tongues and how it’s not an assurance that we prophesy or speak in tongues but if we do not really love God, then in the end we won’t still be saved. I asked God before if He could give me the gift of tongues so I have an assurance that the Holy Spirit is really in me. But what God is teaching me now is even better–and it is how to love.
1 I may be able to speak the languages of human beings and even of angels, but if I have no love, my speech is no more than a noisy gong or a clanging bell.2 I may have the gift of inspired preaching; I may have all knowledge and understand all secrets; I may have all the faith needed to move mountains—but if I have no love, I am nothing. 3 I may give away everything I have, and even give up my body to be burned[a]—but if I have no love, this does me no good.
8 Love is eternal. There are inspired messages, but they are temporary; there are gifts of speaking in strange tongues, but they will cease; there is knowledge, but it will pass. 9 For our gifts of knowledge and of inspired messages are only partial; 10 but when what is perfect comes, then what is partial will disappear.
11 When I was a child, my speech, feelings, and thinking were all those of a child; now that I am an adult, I have no more use for childish ways. 12 What we see now is like a dim image in a mirror; then we shall see face-to-face. What I know now is only partial; then it will be complete—as complete as God’s knowledge of me.
13 Meanwhile these three remain: faith, hope, and love; and the greatest of these is love. (1 Cor 13 GNT)
All along, God has been teaching His greatest fruit–love. I pray that God will give me the grace to love those He wanted me to love, in the way He wanted me to love them. May I not stray from His will.
May God also bless the works of my hand. May He also give me the knowledge to do what I must do. People may not think highly of me–that I can feel. But God uses the weak to shame the strong. May God manifests His glory through me. In Jesus’ mighty name. Amen.
Last but not the least, it feels good to actually like the reflection I see when I look at myself in the mirror. God has created us and He created us beautifully. 🙂