“I don’t want to go back in …”. That was what I told my friend as I was thanking her for her kindness for accomodating me again in Sydney.
Before I was so full of hope when I went back here like life is sweet. I was anticipating God’s blessings. But then it has been Rachel in the evening and Leah when I wake up.
As the bus left for Sydney, I realized that it was Leah in the evening and in the morning this time.
I carry that all through my stay in Sydney. Although there have been blessings. God’s greatness and kindness still abound. But my heart is broken.
I have asked which is better to let go or to hold on. Both are hard.
I have been asking God if I really got it wrong and I pray that He will correct me and give me the endurance to undergo this correction. It hurts.
I don’t want to force others. And right now I don’t know how it can ever be possible. God’s plan will still push through. I don’t know if it is right or wrong. But right now my heart tells me to let go. I won’t go before God. From now on, it’s in God’s hands now.