Answers

There are many questions that only time can answer.  I was trying to rip off a piece of paper a while ago and I could not do it.  Then a voice inside my head tells me that just like in life, I should not force things.  Let things happen on its own.  If we try to force it, we may destroy it in the process.

I should just let things happen on its own.  It’s easier.

Better

Grace from God.  That’s what I call it–being able to resist.

God has been good enough to stop me from harming myself too much–with retail therapy or even food therapy. 🙂

Tomorrow is a busy day.  I have to go get a parcel from my sister and to do everything.  God I need energy, the smart, and skills 🙂

Favor and blessings 🙂  I received this from C 🙂

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Easter is coming soon and that means egg-shaped/bunny-shaped chocolates here.  C said that after Easter, chocolates here will be on sale.  I plan to buy chocolates after Easter then. 🙂  Hopefully be able to send some back home 🙂

Pray

I went to church this morning feeling so down.  I was late but I was able to catch some preachings.  After that I just get some coffee and sat at the couch.   A lady saw me and approached me.  She engaged me in a bit of a conversation.  It was nice of her.  But the best thing she did was that she prayed for me.  It was nice because she was able to say what I was feeling that time.  Thank You God for sending me an angel. 🙂

God reminded me to keep on doing good.  To hold on to Him.  I was being corrected right at this moment.  I tried to rebel against God.  I don’t feel good about it.  But it’s just so painful.  Like I try to go through life but there is always that pain.  I have to learn to live with it.  I know I have to go through this.  This is part of the letting go process.  Until when, I asked God.  Until it no longer hurts, a voice inside my head said.

A told me that it’s better to let go in my case.  He was right.  He also told me that this place is the best for me while I was training.  I agreed with him.

I am really grateful for that.  God has been good to me.

Coming Back

“I don’t want to go back in …”. That was what I told my friend as I was thanking her for her kindness for accomodating me again in Sydney.

Before I was so full of hope when I went back here like life is sweet. I was anticipating God’s blessings. But then it has been Rachel in the evening and Leah when I wake up.

As the bus left for Sydney, I realized that it was Leah in the evening and in the morning this time.

I carry that all through my stay in Sydney. Although there have been blessings. God’s greatness and kindness still abound. But my heart is broken.

I have asked which is better to let go or to hold on. Both are hard.

I have been asking God if I really got it wrong and I pray that He will correct me and give me the endurance to undergo this correction. It hurts.

I don’t want to force others. And right now I don’t know how it can ever be possible. God’s plan will still push through. I don’t know if it is right or wrong. But right now my heart tells me to let go. I won’t go before God. From now on, it’s in God’s hands now.

David

I’ve been reading and listening lessons from David and how he is a man after God’s own heart.

Last night I prayed that if this is not the right time for God’s promise to be fulfilled, may I forget this promise first so I would not be impatient.

Waiting is hard. For me a thing has to end or not. It’s all or nothing. I don’t want to be left hanging.

Moreover, on Christmas eve I asked God for a sign. How foolish of me to ask Him that. Who am I to give the condition. I am not the one in charge right?

I decided to listen to Pastor Robert’s preaching on courtship. It speaks volume. But the main point that I could not deny is that I should not compromise my faith.

Do not yoke with unbelievers.

But for me it’s more of do not yoke with someone who does not love God.

A person who loves God will continue to seek God and follow His command. He will do everything he can to know God’s will by reading the bible, praying, fellowship with other believers. But it’s not even that. The best indicator that someone loves God is when someone cannot stop talking about God. Especially with others who also love God. God will always be their topic.

One time, a conversation with a frenemy led me to self-righteously judge some people that they are not Christian enough. They are not Christian enough because they shun away any invitation to talk about God before. But then God rebuked me saying who am I to say that they are not Christian enough. I was worse than them. So in this case who am I to say that this person does not love God? For all I know maybe he loves God more than I love God. And that maybe I have gotten it wrong all along.

Dear Lord, please correct my heart. In Jesus mighty name. Amen.