I feel sick right now.  My throat hurts.  My body hurts.

Last night we talked.  I thought we’d end up in tears but it actually went okay.  God is really good because while He’s trying to change me, He’s also working on him.  I don’t know His plans for me yet but I know that it will be good.

Dying inside

Luke 9:23-24 (NIV) Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.”

Relationship with God is not a passive relationship.  It is active.  It is real.  It is painful most of the time like you are dying.  And the good thing is–God will create a new life in me.  He will bring me back to life.  New life in Christ.

Don’t put it off

That was what I read on my inbox.  It was supposed to be about something else but I took it differently.  The sleepy me ready to go to dreamland while still checking my email suddenly woke up.  It’s like God is really “impatient” with me now because I’ve been putting off what He’s been asking me to do.  Not responding right away is already disobedience, right?  I immediately did what He’s been asking me to do–not really but I took the first step.  I have laid it out in the open.  It’s liberating.  I am excited of what God is about to do with my life.  I am all God’s now. 🙂

What would I do now with all this time?

That’s the song that my brother and his band has been practicing right now and it squeezed my heart.  I know God has been asking me to do this one thing that I am finding hard to do.  That is the question that I am afraid to answer.  But as days go by, He answers.  This question in particular, through reading articles and from the Bible told me that all the timeI have will be spent on the Lord and do works for Him.  That I will have peace of mind.